Counselor’s Corner

Your thoughts are more powerful and influential in your life than you may think. Many boys and girls do not always understand the power behind their thoughts and how they attract friends or even push them away. The source of these pow-ers reside within your own mind. Over time, either as a result of early or late life experiences, your thinking patterns can become distorted or clouded by hurt, pain and/or fear. When thoughts become clouded, it makes accessing these mysterious thinking powers very difficult. Depending on your upbringing, your thoughts can either work for you or against you.

Many kids in society underestimate the true power behind everyday thoughts. The belief is that, because thoughts come and go and are fleeting, they merit no real attention. This is not true. Every thought you have, whether fleeting or constant, is associated with some experience in your life. And, yes, even fleeting thoughts carry power and fortitude. Thoughts directly affect your overall mood, behavior, and even physiological responses (i.e. frequent headaches), especially during times of heightened stress.

Just to illustrate how powerful your thoughts really are, think of any Fortune 500 company. What product or service does the company provide? Would you agree that this company would not be in business if the products or services were not first conceived out of an ambitious, fertile mind? Products and ser-vices within any successful or unsuccessful company are but a thought. Further-more, thoughts carry a wealth of influential power and progressive energy. Even though a product or service begins as a small idea, it is immediately treated as a physical entity the moment it leaves your mind and is written or spoken into existence. Everything that is important to you was created in between one ear and the other.

Ghandi illustrated it best when he said, “A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he soon becomes...” If your thoughts are mainly negative, you will attract negativity into your life: negative friendships, negative grades, etc. The same is true for thinking positively. It’s the natural progression of our ex-istence, however positive thoughts should not be forced to the point that we could make or create a negative cycle of guilt and shame.

If you are plagued by the tendency to think negatively, ask yourself if the nega-tive voice in your mind sounds familiar. If you have hypercritical parents growing up, their voices, words and unspoken norms become your inner self-talk. If you had any form of trauma/abuse or rejection in your life, this also causes clouded thought patterns, which can lead to self-destruction and impenetrable fears. Have you ever had a trauma in your life? How do your thoughts remind you of this trauma? If your thoughts are not easily accessed, whose thoughts are you preoccupied with? Do you exert excessive energy, worrying and trying to fig-ure out what others are saying or thinking about you? If so, what allows you to believe a person could see you in a negative way? If these questions are familiar to you, perhaps your thoughts have become distorted over time, causing you to question your sense of self. This can become your reality. The information that you take in from others or put out in the world will reflect these distortions one way or another.

To change the way you think, you must understand the foundation of your clouded thoughts and become aware of when they embed themselves into your everyday life. Also, determine what needs the clouded thoughts are fulfilling? What is allowing you to self-sabotage with friends or family or even at school? After answering these questions, more than likely you’ll stumble onto the notion of fear—fear of failure, rejection, not being good enough, inadequacy or power-lessness and generally feeling out of control. If you are having trouble altering your thoughts and attracting healthy friendships or have insecurities, it may be rewarding to speak with a trained professional to help you learn to navigate your mindset. My hope for you this month is to walk in your 'thinking' authority today, and manifest your own positive reality.

Camishe Nunley, prominent Lincensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified

Trauma Specialist